Who really holds the wild card?

Dear More than Just Friends,

People often say that a man and woman (each heterosexual) cannot be best friends because one will inevitably fall for the other. After all, you can tell your best friend any and every thing. They are always there for you. To make you laugh and to wipe your tears. But I like to think my relationship with my best friend is different. No, I don’t like to think it, I know it is. Which is the main reason I find it so comical when my friends insist that we have to be doing “something” or that we eventually will. The only people who ever really know what’s going on between two people are the two people in that relationship. And I’m using the term relationship to encompass friendship.

I’m not sure why, but my closest friends tend to be males. I remember watching some random movie a couple years ago that said women who have men as close friends tend to have issues with their mothers. But I like to think I do because I can relate easier to men than I can to women. I’m a tomboy at heart, which is probably due in large part to all of my siblings being males. I love sports (not just because athletes are hot) and just feel more comfortable talking to the opposite sex.

Of course I am unsure of what the future holds, but I cannot ever see my “Ace” and I being anything more than just best friends.  That is not to say that I’ve never fallen for a close friend. I did several months ago actually. After much deliberation and too much back and forth weighing the pros and cons of telling him, I decided not to tell him. Do I regret it now? Not one bit. Back then, I wondered if he knew how I felt. It’s funny how crushes work because the butterflies that the person gives you can make you so sure that they must feel the same way. Pure trickery. I’m not sure how he felt about me and I doubt I ever will know. But a part of me wonders if he was interested in being more than just friends, why did he never play his hand?

When it comes to two friends potentially taking their relationship to the next level, who really holds the wild card? Call me old school, but I tend to expect the man to make the first move. As much as I admire women who make the first move (i.e., Samantha from Sex & the City), I rarely do so…unless I’ve dared myself to. For me, I do not think it was a matter of confidence or fear of rejection, I feel like it had more to do with the friendship that was at stake. I never played my hand because I did not want to lose one of my closest friends and I figured the feelings I had would pass. Thankfully, they have passed and our friendship is still intact, but we aren’t quite as close as we once were. Maybe the question isn’t who holds the wild card, but who’s willing to play it…


Creative Commons License
This work by bellereveur.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.



  1. BellaWriter

    Good article 🙂 These relationships are always the most dangerous because you have so much to lose yet so much to gain!

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