How is bad sex capable of making women do dumb stuff?

Dear Sexperts,

Let’s talk about “coloring.” A friend of mine sent me a YouTube video with a guy claiming that women ran the world, but in the end it was men who really did because they can control the mind of the women. The guy used the anatomical parts, instead of the genders, but I’m going to keep this post as clean as possible…. For those of you who’ve never seen the Sex & the City movie, coloring is sex. That three letter word which has the ability to bring us into a state of ecstasy, clear our minds, and make us do foolish things to get/keep getting some. Today, I’m concerned with the latter. Specifically how (some?) women wind up doing dumb things they never thought they would for sex.

Notice I didn’t say “good sex.” Now a myriad of factors can go into consideration for whether or not the sex was good. I’m not going to get into all that. I’m just amazed when I hear stories of women significantly lowering their standards and/or keeping themselves in toxic relationships, all for sex that isn’t even all that good. Lowering standards would be a little more acceptable to me if the guy “puts it down.” I think that the majority of women will be guilty of lowering their standards at least once for mind-blowing sex. But when the guy doesn’t put it down and the woman kind of just lies there, and the two are just “going through the motions,” how exactly does the woman’s mind get taken?

I have two theories:

1. Women want someone to connect with. The “connection” aspect of sex is technically still there albeit on a very basic level. Many women are simply seeking intimacy, and are attributing a man being inside of them as a form of intimacy.
2. Bad sex is better than no sex. This is somewhat related to the connection theory as the woman is willing to do things to keep the man there so she won’t be alone. Now I’m not the strongest proponent of this theory. I think if you’re committed to continuously have sex with someone, then you should try to figure out what isn’t working to see if you can turn things around. The guy could be completely clueless that the sex is not good for the woman. It’s when he’s aware that the sex is no good that you have a deal breaker.

Honestly, I am not sure what it is, and you’re welcome to share your own theories. I just thank goodness that I’ve never been in that situation.

xoxo

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• Posted in: Life in the City
• Tagged: bad sex, coloring, dating, deal breakers, doing dumb things for sex, going through the motions, good sex, intimacy, lowering standards, mind blowing sex, putting it down, relationships, settling, sex, Sex & the City, sexperts, toxic relationships, women run the world