Who’s telling the men to pack light?

Dear Baggage Handlers,
Lately, I’ve been wondering how much baggage is too much baggage. I love Erykah Badu’s “Bag Lady” urging women to “pack light,” but who’s telling the men to pack light? Why is it always assumed that women are the only ones carrying around all these (dreadful) emotions and are damaged?
One of my friends was exclusively dating a guy for close to a year when she had to move to another city a couple of hours away. She thought her boyfriend was fine with it, but shortly after she moved, all of these repressed emotions came out to play. Suddenly, i.e., within a week, he assumed she was cheating. My friend was lost wondering where all of the accusations were coming from. Then she found out his last girlfriend had also moved a couple of hours away and subsequently cheated on him, broke his heart, yada, yada, yada.

Now, I’m not a fan of long-distance relationships anyway, but it’s crazy how often men (…and women) project their last relationship onto their new one. Isn’t that dooming your new relationship? Because after all, you’re in a new relationship because your last one failed. Or maybe I shouldn’t say failed, but your last relationship just wasn’t what you needed for your future. Men are urged by society to bottle up their feelings when they’re hurt, but it’s their future girlfriends who have to deal with all that baggage. Maybe the new relationship for men is the healing relationship to help them get over their repressed feelings for their ex. Who knows? I say new relationships=fresh starts. If you can’t follow that simple equation, then you probably shouldn’t/aren’t ready to be dating again.


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This work by bellereveur.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


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