Are you really listening to me?

Dear You,

Yeah, I’m writing this one directly to you, but I wonder if you’ll actually listen to what I’m saying. Yes, listen.  It is now 2012 and I’m going to skip the whole “this is my year” hoopla because in all honesty, this is my life. Every year will be a good year because I decided years ago to make my life a good one. I will take the good with the bad just as I have done in the past and press on.  Now that that’s out of the way, at the end of 2011 I came to the realization that a once dear friend of mine is no longer so dear to me. If you’re looking for juicy drama about a cat fight then you’ll have to turn to another blog because there isn’t any of that here.

The thing is, I realized we’d just grown apart. I met up with her last week after not seeing her since August. She’s one of my friends from home and we used to always meet up whenever I came home to visit, but somehow we wound up missing each other over the past few months. We used to have skype dates, but somehow I found myself never logging in to my account. We used to be able to carry a conversation for hours on end, but somehow I found myself with nothing to say. I must confess that even though my friends never believe me, I’m naturally shy. I don’t open up to people and am prone to “skate” over the real answers to questions when I don’t want to share something. So when I realized I was doing this in the midst of a (dry) conversation with my friend, a person I considered one of my best friends, and that she wasn’t listening to my silence it caught me by surprise. And the funny thing is, she didn’t even notice. Why not? Because she was so busy talking about her self.

Now I have a few associates who love to talk about themselves. Then they’ll throw in the obligatory “how are you?” and when you start to respond, they interrupt and bring the conversation back to them. Needless to say, I’ve defaulted to the obligatory “fine” whenever they ask to keep it short and simple. Can’t take away their shine! I’ve been told I’m easy to talk to, so maybe that’s why they do it… But those are ASSOCIATES, she was one of my BEST FRIENDS. Now I must confess, that I do jokingly call people my best friend, but it’s more of a nickname, like ”Best Friend Sam.” I don’t use the term “friend” or “best friend” loosely because I know how invaluable and irreplaceable they are in my life. I had 3 best friends entering 2011 and it was an odd feeling to walk into 2012 with only 2. I’m not sure if we’ll ever be as we were or if there is even a need to. Honestly, I’m somewhat apathetic towards the whole situation. C’est la vie.

xoxo

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This work by bellereveur.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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2 Comments

  1. I guess we all move on . I

    I’m left with just one bestfriend from the original 12, and I’m not even sure if we’re still best friends with each other. ( although I still received a Christmas gift from her, and gave her one, too ) Her time now is spent with her boyfriend, and work. We barely call each other on the phone, and except for some occassional texts, our interaction is almost zero. ( alrthough we did get to hangout this holiday season ) I guess it’s time to meet new people, and create new memories.

    Cheers !

  2. Yes, I’ve found that it’s very easy to grow apart from people in my early-20s. Everyone is kind of off in their own world making their own dreams come true and sometimes we get so wrapped up in new memories that we forget to keep our close friends in the loop. I think it all works out in the end though. It’s always great to have those friends that you can pick right up where you left off no matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen them.

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