Should you become Facebook friends with your new beau?

Dear Singles,

Imagine you just met this guy/woman, for the sake of New Year optimism let’s make them pique your interest, and you want to learn more about them. What do you do? Wonder if they’re on Facebook and if their pictures are as cute as the person was in person? With social media taking over our lives, for the good and the bad, I wonder if people should reconsider being friends with their new beau on Facebook. With the advent of the new stalker “timeline” feature, it’s easy to figure out who did what, when, where, with whom, why and how. Sure you can add people to lists, but if you have over 1000 friends like I do, who wants to take the time to do all of that organization? Side note: Okay, I didn’t want to but I did…I have been FB stalked one too many times for my liking. And since when did it become acceptable to tell someone you FB stalked him? Like what am I supposed to say when you randomly compliment a dress I wore 3.5 years ago when you run into me? “Thanks?” Anywho, back to the matter at hand. All that information on your profile allows your new booski to find out things from your past that you may have forgotten or didn’t even think important enough to mention to them and leads to unnecessary jealousy over keeping in touch with old “friends.” 

I’ve seen males and females FB stalk thee heck out of a new beau in their life, scrutinizing every single person they’ve ever taking a picture with and assessing whether or not he/she’s attractive. Sometimes it starts off so innocent, but we all know how a quick check on Facebook can lead to an entire hour. It’s easy to figure out when they started dating (or sadly in some cases even talking to) a person because women will comment on every single picture the guy puts up and repetitively post on his wall. Men on the other hand, tend to be a bit more casual, they’ll subtlety like every few posts usually because they know the woman may complain that their Facebook exchange seems a little one sided (i.e., how come you never post on my wall? How come you never like my pictures?) If the guy thinks the woman is pretty and a keeper, he’ll usually put her in his profile picture to broadcast the relationship to his Facebook friends. This makes said woman ecstatic because she probably wanted to put him in her profile picture after 2 weeks, but knew she would appear “thirsty” and subsequently be dropped.

Am I stereotyping the sexes? Hmm…maybe a little, after all I never write all over the wall of a love interest because oh I don’t know I have their phone number and our relationship is between the two of us not our FB community. If there’s a new video he just has to see I can email it to him just as easily as I could post it on his wall. Who knows, maybe the days of getting to know someone the old fashioned way are gone. Who wants to spend actual time with someone when you can find out how they view themselves and portray their personality via Facebook in less than an hour…for free?


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1 Comment

  1. You’re the second person I’ve read in 20 minutes who complains about how the FB world has gone out of control. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you say here. I have a friend who found out her BF has broken up with her on Facebook. The break-up was as subtle as a jackhammer. My friend saw that his relationship status was, ” Not in a relationship. ” As simple as that.

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