Do we have to protect the male ego?

Dear Ladies,

I find the male ego quite fascinating. Men are taught to be “strong” as a child. Yes taught. I’m not sold on the idea that men are inherently strong. After all, the Disney fairytales all tell us men are heroes and have to save women from dragons and wake them up from sleeping spells (Sidenote: I’ll leave the whole damsel in distress ideology for another day.). Now I won’t get into gender stereotypes, but I will get into how women are supposed to feed into the male ego.


When a guy asks a woman out, it’s like we aren’t allowed to just say “no.” Women have to say “I’m seeing someone,” “I’m not looking to date right now,” or in cases where men are really persistent, “I like women.” Don’t forget we’re supposed to preface all of these statements with “I’m sorry, but….” Heaven forbid we don’t say, “I’m sorry” first. Why do we have to say we’re sorry when we aren’t interested in someone? Is it because we don’t want to come off rude or is it because we have to protect the male ego from rejection?


When you turn down a man with a huge ego, he’ll immediately try to downplay the situation by claiming his asking you out was a misunderstanding (i.e., “I was just joking”, “I just want to be your friend,” or even “You’re not that cute anyway”). And women are supposed to play along and give an obligatory laugh so the situation stays amicable. We can’t let the man know that his pick-up line was corny, he’s poorly dressed, has halitosis, and/or just not someone we find attractive. It’s like we can’t let the man know that it’s him we’re not attracted to.

Well, I decided that I really don’t care about the male ego anymore. In fact, I decided I’m no longer giving excuses as to why I do not want to start dating someone I’m not interested in. From here on out, I’m just saying “no.”


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  1. Ms. Independent

    It’s probably why girls are always labeled insecure and men aren’t. We have to wait for me to come along and hit on us and when they don’t we think it’s because we aren’t pretty enough. At the same time, when we turn a man down we can’t just ignore him right in his face.

    • Ms. Independent


  2. Tire of it all

    Try this- try asking a man out for a change instead of “waiting to tell him no”. That won’t happen because we as women tend to want our cake and eat it too. We have been told for years to let the man ask you out to “show that he’s interested” but if we’re interested we won’t; Quote: “play ourselves risking rejection”. This article “almost” started out to be something and then once again, it put us women in a bad light of selfishness and “All about me…”!

    • I don’t say anything about “waiting to tell him no.” The whole idea of which sex should approach first isn’t even discussed here and I’m all for women asking guys out because it shows confidence and her ability to go after what she wants. The truth of the matter is, when men decide to approach a woman it should mainly be because her body language is inviting him in (i.e., eye contact, smile).

  3. Yes ! !

    I agree wholeheartedly.

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